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Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho
Pairing: Kurama/Kuwabara
Rating: R
A/N: A sort of...cheating collaboration of two challenges? [livejournal.com profile] renegaderaine asked for a Kurama fic dealing with the conflict between his human and demon personas, and Kubuntu asked for a Kurama/Kuwabara fic with Youko Kurama. This...sort of fits both challenges, so I hope you'll both like it.


He wonders what he's doing, sometimes. When he looks up at the body moving over his and wants nothing more than to turn, to push and pull and take control. When he kisses warm skin and wants to bite, wants to pierce and lick and suck. When he looks into Kuwabara's eyes and sees none of that exhilarating mix of fear and adoration that he has seen in the gazes of former lovers.

What makes it worse is that this entire situation is his fault. He pursued Kuwabara, convinced the human boy into their odd and tangled relationship. And it is his fault that Kuwabara does not entirely understand what he's gotten himself into.

Because although Kurama is neither human nor demon, but a strange combination of both, Kuwabara's exposure to his demonic form (and composure) is limited to the Dark Tournament. A few battles, watched from the sidelines, and nothing more. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Kuwabara has the knowledge that Kurama is a centuries-old demon, but Kurama doesn't think he really understands. And Kurama has done little to change that - he remains in his human body, with his more human persona when they're together, and rarely mentions his less-than-pleasant past.

But for all of that, Kurama loves what he has with Kuwabara - the human is so...well, human. He is kind to a fault, with a heart of gold, and yet he has been through enough with Kurama to understand that the fox-demon does not need protecting - but that sometimes, it is welcome. He has the capacity to be both light-hearted and serious, which Kurama appreciates more than he could have ever expected.

So he forces himself to maintain that shaky balance - forces himself to be more human that he would like when he is with Kuwabara. He tucks his baser emotions, his primal instincts, deep into the back of his mind, and ignores those niggling desires with all his might. He is kind and sweet and Shuuichi, and he does his best to ignore that the longer he remains human, the more and more it all feels like a lie.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-12-28 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
To be honest, I wasn't sure how I felt about ending it there, and there is a very good chance that more will show up in the future.

So you may very well get your wish. And if not, there's always birthday fic? I encourage people asking me for fic for their birthdays.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-12-28 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
...

Well, now I just feel like an ass.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-12-28 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
Nah, my own fault for missing your birthday.

Date: 2009-12-28 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
...okay, when I first read that summary I was grinning fit to split my face in two.

And... I still am. Except, more. (I think I lost the top of my skull somewhere in the kitchen.)

The first paragraph is gold. Especially the last line - "fear and adoration" is a prefect description. I mean, it's like a tame leopard - he'll let you pet him, but you damn well remember he can take your throat out.

And... I really have no words except "squee!", which is a bit undignified.

But thank you thank you thank you for this practice of Christmas fic. *bounces in joy*

~Kubuntu

Date: 2009-12-28 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
It's responses like this that prompt me to keep doing it - I love being able to give people something they love: even if it's something as simple as a little ficlet like this.

And for being such a small word, "squee!" conveys an awful lot of emotion, dignified or not.

You're more than welcome, and I hope you come back and ask for some more next year!

Date: 2009-12-28 11:00 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
...I'm still grinning and going "squee!" when something reminds me of this, by the way. Today has been a very good day for me.

I will definitely try to be less of a lurker. :D

By the way, I got an e-book reader for Christmas and have been putting some of my favourite fic on it. If I put some of yours on, would you like me to send you the ebook - a .bbeb file? I could just megaupload it and then post a link in a comment like this.

~Kubuntu

Date: 2009-12-28 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
I support this de-lurking business - I love having people to talk to.

Huh. I'm not sure what I'd do with it, but why not?

Date: 2009-12-28 11:45 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Well, I guess it could increase your exposure. I know there are sites for audiofic, and some free ebooks sites have fanfic categories. Now that ebook readers are more affordable and ergo more popular, there will probably be a site specifically for ebook-fic. If not, something like a livejournal community, I suppose.

I guess if there isn't and I have a bunch of fic-books, maybe I'll start one? Honestly, I think I'm a bit too timid to ask fan-authors if I could, so maybe not, but I'll definitely have a little library of my own. It's so much easier for me to read on this little thing. <3

~Kubuntu

Date: 2009-12-28 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
Huh - I hadn't even thought about that. That might be kind of nifty, if one exists.

Date: 2009-12-29 04:59 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Well a quick google revealed a few, this one looks most interesting:

http://amalthia.mediawood.net/ebooks/

Because it's solely about fanfic and specifies that ebooks are posted with the authors permission. The size of the archives isn't particularly impressive, though.

Date: 2009-12-29 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
Huh. That's really interesting, and I may have to start looking into stuff like this.

Thanks for the tip!

Date: 2009-12-28 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] renegaderaine.livejournal.com
Truly wonderful! I concur that the line "fear and adoration" IS PERFECT!!! That is what Yoko loves, and desires, and thrives on, and it is not what Kurama's countenance demands (as a general rule.)

I also concur with the SQUEEEE cause that's what I'm doing lol

And yes, I'd love to see more of this as well! *hugs* thank you so much for christmas fic!

Yours is still in the beginning stages, but will be well worth the wait, I promise!

Date: 2009-12-28 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-flamewing.livejournal.com
You're absolutely welcome! I'm just so glad you like it.

I'm sure it will - I will wait in anticipation: that always makes gifts more fun when you finally get them.

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