lady_flamewing: (Default)
[personal profile] lady_flamewing
Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho
Pairing: Kurama/Kuwabara
Rating: R
A/N: A sort of...cheating collaboration of two challenges? [ profile] renegaderaine asked for a Kurama fic dealing with the conflict between his human and demon personas, and Kubuntu asked for a Kurama/Kuwabara fic with Youko Kurama. This...sort of fits both challenges, so I hope you'll both like it.

He wonders what he's doing, sometimes. When he looks up at the body moving over his and wants nothing more than to turn, to push and pull and take control. When he kisses warm skin and wants to bite, wants to pierce and lick and suck. When he looks into Kuwabara's eyes and sees none of that exhilarating mix of fear and adoration that he has seen in the gazes of former lovers.

What makes it worse is that this entire situation is his fault. He pursued Kuwabara, convinced the human boy into their odd and tangled relationship. And it is his fault that Kuwabara does not entirely understand what he's gotten himself into.

Because although Kurama is neither human nor demon, but a strange combination of both, Kuwabara's exposure to his demonic form (and composure) is limited to the Dark Tournament. A few battles, watched from the sidelines, and nothing more. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Kuwabara has the knowledge that Kurama is a centuries-old demon, but Kurama doesn't think he really understands. And Kurama has done little to change that - he remains in his human body, with his more human persona when they're together, and rarely mentions his less-than-pleasant past.

But for all of that, Kurama loves what he has with Kuwabara - the human is so...well, human. He is kind to a fault, with a heart of gold, and yet he has been through enough with Kurama to understand that the fox-demon does not need protecting - but that sometimes, it is welcome. He has the capacity to be both light-hearted and serious, which Kurama appreciates more than he could have ever expected.

So he forces himself to maintain that shaky balance - forces himself to be more human that he would like when he is with Kuwabara. He tucks his baser emotions, his primal instincts, deep into the back of his mind, and ignores those niggling desires with all his might. He is kind and sweet and Shuuichi, and he does his best to ignore that the longer he remains human, the more and more it all feels like a lie.
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